Sex –you love it, don’t you? Well, you’re not alone. People love it. How else did the human population hit the 6 billion mark? And guess what…people are still having more and more sex. Forget about what some studies say. Truth is, humans will always have sex. Like anything else though, sex becomes stale after a while. It either becomes monotonous or you just don’t enjoy it as much as you did the first time you discovered it. But…wait a second. It is a problem that 100% fixable. It turns out you can actually revamp your sex life for the better. Wondering how? The following tips will make it easy for you to have the ultimate sexual experience. The kind you only hear about…or watch on porn sites. Read on to learn more.
It Starts With You
Sounds strange but it is really, the first step towards a great sex life. Think about it this way – you’re the only one who understands your body. You know what feels good and what doesn’t. You know your weak spots and nearly all the major erogenous zones. This is powerful information. It is therefore, strange and somewhat ridiculous to expect your partner to figure out how to please you in bed. The best your partner can do is to go for the obvious basics like playing with your genitals a little bit before intercourse – yeah, foreplay as many people understand it. From then on, everything becomes bland for your partner unless you give them the cue.
You don’t need anyone to tell you what feels good for you. You can and should actually do it yourself. You already know how to go about it – touch yourself! It is fun and yeah, it is a learning process for you. Sure, studies say that masturbation isn’t really good. That’s right – too much of it is bad. A little however, goes a long way. Notably, recent studies actually indicate that touching yourself makes you want more sex.
Sex isn’t meant to be quiet. It isn’t meant to be too loud either. Be moderate with the noise. Then by all means, give your partner the cue that you’re having a good time. Don’t be shy to moan if it feels good. Don’t be too timid to implore ‘Harder!’ or ‘Like that baby’. That way, you’ll psyche up your partner to keep on doing what they’re doing. Note that you should talk even when you’re using toys like the strap on dildo.
You hear about sex toys all the time. Your friends talk about them. You then wonder how and why they are such a big deal. Well, they actually are. They can change your sex life for the better. Before then though, you need to first liberalize your mind. Let lose any misconceptions and conservative views you have about sex toys. You’re already familiar with some of the misconceptions – le wand vibrators are for perverts or religion abhors use of sex toys.
You’re probably wondering why you should first do away with the misconceptions. It is simple. You could use toys with a lot of scepticism and ‘unwillingness’. Now that’s a bad state of mind for sex. The last thing you want to do is engage in a sexual activity with a guilty or hampered mind. Once you do it with a free mind, then nothing can hold you back.
Also Read: Top 4 Sex Toys That Are Perfect For Newbies
Why use lube? Hold up, the right question should be – why not use lube? It is really a must have for anyone who wants to up their sex life. Note that it doesn’t matter what kind of sex you have in mind. Whether all you want to do is play with autoblow 2.0 or wand vibrator, lube up. You can never go wrong with lube.
There are two main types of lube in the market. It doesn’t matter the brands you’ll come across. Ultimately, the lube world boils down to two options – water based lube and silicone based lube.
Water based lubes stand out as ideal for many reasons. For starters, you can use water based lube if you have sensitive skin. That means you won’t have to worry about the sensitive anal, penile and vaginal sin. There’s also the fact that water based lube can be used alongside sex toys and condoms. As for cleaning, water based lubes score high. They don’t stain linen. They are also easy to clean off sheets. The only downside with water based lubes is you can’t use them for naughty water sports of shower sex. They wash off way too easily. If you’re going for marathon sex, you already know the alternative…silicone.
You’ll love silicone based lube solely because it stays on the skin longer. You don’t have to reapply it so many times. A little here literally goes a long way. The only catch here is that silicone based lube doesn’t wash off easily. You will need huge amounts of soap and water to wash it off. You may also have to soak your bed sheet in bleach for hours because silicone lube stains hardly ever fade.
Avoid using silicone based lubes with silicone based sex toys. That’s because silicone on silicone cause friction with time. Silicone also breaks down rubber. That’s why water based lube is ideal for just about any sex toy. This doesn’t mean in any way that all sex toys are and should be off limits when it comes to silicone based lubes. Sex toys made of glass, steel, hard plastic and glass augur well with silicone based lube.
(A very important word of caution here – never spill silicone based lube on the floor – especially hardwood floors. It’ll stain the floor and leave it slippery for weeks or even months)
Ever wondered why 5 star hotels decorate rooms with flower petals and scented candles during Valentines? They then go a step further to spice up lighting. You spend a night there and wake up wondering what the magic was. There’s no magic. The trick is all about making the place where you’ll get laid a little bit cozzy and fit for the occasion.
It is easy to relax your mind once you’re in a calm place. That’s exactly why where you have sex should be a cool, relaxed place. Everything should fall in place right from ambience and lighting all the way to the bedding and even what you wear. With a relaxed mind and a cozzy room, you’re already halfway to sexual ecstasy. Be sure to add a dash of some sensual background music.
It’s All In The Mind
You’ve heard about this way too many times. It isn’t yet another boring cliché. It is true. Sex is a mind thing. You don’t need to look far to figure out how true this is. You’ve most likely had an experience where you were all geared up for sex then something happened and you quickly lost the urge. On the flipside, you’ve had days go awry only to look at something sexual and feel alive again.
Forget About Porn
Porn will have you think that the best sex ever is where you have your partner moan for hours. Sure, that happens. Note though that even in cases where the porn actors seem to enjoy what they’re doing, that’s the reality for them. It is what works for them. When it comes to you, only you know what works well for you. With that in mind, don’t use porn as the measure of what good sex should look and feel like.
There’s No Perfection – Laugh, Make Jokes
You know the kind of sex that happens in movies. Two good-looking fellows lay each other. Nothing ever goes wrong. Everything looks and feels right. They kiss well, touch each other well…you know the drill…almost always in slow motion. That’s it…it ends with the movies.
In real life, something will happen. It’ll either ruin the moment for a while or for hours. It happens. It could be an inadvertent vaginal fart or a muscle pull. It could be the dog or cat jumping on your ass and in the process, leaving it with a scar. It could be anything really. Think of it is a slip. Exhale, stop for a while and laugh it off. Nothing kills off a sexy mood than the pressure to have some kind of Hollywood perfect sex.
Listen To Your Partner
You’ll enjoy the moaning and everything in between. Focus on the ‘in between’. You know, the ‘Right there baby’ and ‘I’m almost coming, don’t stop’. That’s where the true gem hides. Follow that cue in the middle of the moans. It’s all you need to guide your partner to their true north.
Sex is meant be thoroughly enjoyed. It doesn’t matter how boring your sex life feels at the moment. The aforementioned tips can go a long way to help you turn things around. And yeah, you don’t have to spend too much money too much time to improve your sex life. Like you may have noticed, the trick is in simple, doable things.